8 weeks left

Ok, I have to write about something because having the post about my dog being the last post almost throws me into a crying fit every time. :)

I leave in 8 weeks and 2 days. I know that time is going to go by so quickly. I had a realization recently that 2 weeks is about as long as I can go without seeing my church Family. Anything more than that and I really start to ache to see them. I guess it's a good realization to have now so that it doesn't take me by surprise in about 10 weeks. But the realization of the fact that I am "starting over" is creeping in and it's scary. Less scary since I have Jesus by my side, but scary none the less.

It is so weird juggling the emotions of being SO excited for the next step, but dealing with the emotions of thinking about the limited time I have left here. It's weird to think about how much life will change, but I couldn't be more excited. I'm even more excited knowing that they have Rock Band over there. Actually, when I think about DTS the thing that I am most excited about is worship. I just have this feeling that it is going to be so intense and passionate and I can't wait for that.

Is it weird that I'm already feeling anxious for DTS to be over? I am just so anxious for what God has next for me. Be in the now Michelle, be in the now. :)

Strong Tower

I've had to sing the Kutless song "Strong Tower" to myself over and over again today. Tonight was the night I had to take my dog to his new home. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I didn't know just how difficult it would be. I can't remember the last time I have cried this much, this hard and in such a short amount of time. My heart is breaking, but I know it's temporary and I know that the future holds great things for me and for God's Kingdom. That has to be my focus. Jesus told us that we have to lose our lives to find them and to sell everything we own and give to the poor and follow Him. OK, God. I'm giving You my life. Take it. It's Yours to do with it what You will. Through the pain and the suffering I will praise You because that is what You are worthy of. Jesus knows my pain and He knows what it means to suffer. Like Peter said, I will rejoice in participating in the sufferings of Christ.

Goodbye, Ponce! You were a wonderful dog and I will miss you so much. You will have a wonderful life in your new home!

Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things

Wow, what a journey God has me on. I'm totally blown away by Him. A little over 3 weeks ago I put my house on the market. It's not a good time to try to sell a house. The average time to sell a house is 90 days. That meant that my house should sell about 1 month before i am set to leave. But i knew God would sell my house. And even if He didn't do it before i left, i knew he would do it after i was gone. Never did i expect an offer 3 weeks after i put it on the market. And i definitely did NOT expect 2 offers. 2 offers in this market. And in 3 weeks. Are you kidding me??? WOW!! I have 2 people that both REALLY want my house. One buyer offered the other $1,000 to back out of the offer that i already accepted. WHAT???

I am totally overwhelmed by God's abundant provision. All it required from me was to move out of the way. And now my house is pending a sale and will be someone else's at the end of April. And God is allowing me to walk away with more money than i thought i would. He is so much bigger than i can conceive. I'm so grateful that He desires to pour out His blessing on me in this part of my journey. I still find myself shaking my head and laughing because it is just crazy to me. But He is so good.

Thank you, God for helping me to step out off the ledge and helping me to trust in Your ability to put steps in front of me even thought i can't see them. I am nothing without Your strength.

Saturdays. The best day of the week if you ask me. You can sleep in, take time to ENJOY your morning coffee, do yard work, hike, spend time with your family. What a great day! And today, I had 8 friends give up their Saturdays to help me paint the inside of my house, pressure wash the outside, haul yard debris, replace trim on the windows so I could get my house ready to sell. Wow! It's amazing how loved I feel right now. I have a bunch of clean up that I should be doing right now, but all I can do right now is think to myself how lucky I am. These people truly showed the love of Christ to me today. Thank you to all who gave up time with your families, didn't do work at your own houses, didn't take that day to relax. I wish that someone would create a bigger and better way to say THANK YOU. I am filled to the brim with gratitude. You saved me days and days worth of work. Thank you for sacrificing your precious Saturday to do this for me.

I constantly find myself in awe of God’s orchestration. From big things like working out financial situations to prove that we are on the right path to small things like sitting us next to someone on a plane.

On my flight from Portland to San Francisco, I was sitting next to this woman (it turns out she goes to Good Shepherd). I saw that she was working on stuff for work and I asked what she did for a living. She said, “My vocation is working for Wells Fargo, but my real job is spreading the Kingdom of God.” Oh man, let the gates open!! We started talking about God and our journeys with Him, what He’s done in our lives, etc. It was such an awesome talk and I was gabbing away about God and my testimony. I just felt my heart open and I couldn’t keep from pouring it out on her.

Towards the end of the flight, I got up to use the lou and as I was away from her, satan immediately started attacking me. He was telling me that I was bragging and looking for praise from someone. Then I started replaying every thing in my head that I had said. Was I really doing that? Was I trying to steal God’s glory? I was horrified at that thought and started trying to think of ways that I could share without doing that, but I didn’t know how that was possible because once I start talking about something I am passionate about it just spews out. Then I sit back down next to her and she tells me how great it was to listen to my testimony and how heartfelt and genuine it is. How could she possibly have known that I had just been doubting myself and sharing my story?

As I reflected on it in the next few moments I realized how much God was trying to tell me to NOT stop sharing my story in that way. I have passion and that is an amazing gift that God has given to me. I should not try to keep that under wraps when it comes to sharing His story and my story. Of course satan doesn’t want me to passionately share my story and my walk with God because people might listen and if God puts me in the “right place at the right time” it could ignite or re-ignite a relationship between someone and God. That is the last thing that satan wants and he will what he can to keep that from happening.

I am just so thankful that God reaches us through those times to remind us about the Voice of Truth. His voice is the voice that I want to listen to. His is the voice that will lead us down the right path. His is the voice that provides peace, comfort, hope and love. Anything less is destructive to us and our walk. The next time you are hearing a voice that is telling you to doubt yourself and your value take time to ask yourself, “Is this the Voice of Truth?”

D-day

Well, I finally have my D-day. Last I heard DTS was going to start on July 18th. That gives me about 6 more months here in the states to get my house sold, find my dog a new home and to get a bunch of stuff sold. Soon enough I'll be off to Swaziland, people!

I can't wait to go back and I'm really looking forward to what God has in store for me next. He has brought me so far and I can't believe that I finally get to answer the call that He has been working on in me for the past few years. Thank you, God, for your faithfulness to me and for Your perfect timing. Thank you for being in control of all of my past steps and my future steps. My life is Yours. Do with it what You like.